The world of dating can seem absolutely crazy. It’s fast paced and hard to keep up with sometimes. It can be even more crazy if you’re dating someone in a wheelchair. Regardless of what you think you know about mobility device users, we have some tips to prevent you from looking like a fool.
Never make assumptions
There is a good chance your date will need your help at some point or another. It could be to grab something, or for a little push. When this happens, your date will ask you for that help. You should never assume that dating someone in a wheelchair means you have to do more for them. Most people who use mobility devices strive to be independent. If you assume they aren’t, you are belittling their accomplishments. They are just as capable as you are, so be sensitive to that.
Don’t waste each others’ time
If you aren’t comfortable with other people showing an interest in your date, then don’t bother. Dating someone in a wheelchair comes with a minor amount of judgement and interest from other people. You have to be strong, confident, or in love to see past that. You want to take the time to get to know your date. But, if you can’t see past the opinion of other people, don’t waste your dates time.
Ask if you have questions
If you have any questions about their limitations, then just ask them. It may seem bold, but it’s appreciated. Communication will make or break the romance. There are many stories of people who chose to date someone in a wheelchair, but were afraid to ask anything. Of course, you don’t want to look silly or insensitive. Sometimes it feels like avoiding the questions altogether is the solution. But it isn’t. It’s better to ask and know than to look silly by staying silent.
Mobility is different for everyone
If you’ve considered dating someone in a wheelchair, there are probably questions on your mind: Can he/she walk at all? Does he/she require support? Can I have relations with this person? How will this wheelchair effect our future together?
Well, the best thing you can do is stop asking. The fact is that every mobility device user has a different story. This means that mobile device users each have different levels of mobility. One date may be able to move their legs, while another may not. Each experience will be completely unique.
It’s human curiosity to wonder about the relations you can have when you’re dating someone in a wheelchair. The people who share their stories have said they have very healthy intimate relationships. It all depends, again. While you might want to know right away, do avoid asking. You’re going to insult your date if you ask flat out.
Independence is important
You have to remember when dating someone in a wheelchair the their independence is important to them. This is exactly why they don’t want you to make assumptions. They want you to ask. They want to show you that they are capable of doing everything for themselves. They want you to get to know them and they want to get to know you.
So, forget everything you thought you knew. Go out and learn for yourself.